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Apr. 28th, 2009

I has a facelift

Change of Address

I'm still reading you, but you can read me here:

Feb. 8th, 2009

I has a facelift

Don't ask me why I was even reading this news story

My very first reaction: "Toilet tank?! That is so unsanitary."

Jan. 30th, 2009

32 flavors


I bought these shows yesterday at TJ Maxx--I bargained for them and got them for $7.00, and they are my favorite color and they are basically slippers that I can wear out of the house.

(I don't know what happened to the picture, and I don't really care--it was a camera phone with Rock Band drums in the background--It doesn't demand perfection.)

They're moccasins, which my mom wore when I was little, so I have good memories of the style. but I was looking at them tonight and I got really concerned that it's racist of me to wear these shoes. As Jeffrey pointed out, it isn't my intention, but I'm of the mind that when it comes to discrimination and prejudice and ignorance, intent doesn't really matter.

Maybe racist isn't quite the word, but how about appropriation? I'm a white woman wearing a traditional item of an oppressed culture. But are turquoise slippers with stars far enough away from anything traditionally Native that I can feel comfortable enough wearing them? I can't really be the one to make that call.

I also wear a patterned wrap skirt that a dear friend got for me in India, and I practice yoga, and I've read controversial opinions when it comes to white people and both of those things. But I feel OK with them, at least, because of my deep and genuine interest and respect for the practice and tradition of yoga, and I appreciate that the skirt is not a reproduction and it's representative of a meaningful experience my friend had. My shoes, on the other hand, I bought from a mass marketer, they were made in China (both of which are other issues in themselves), and they are a silly blue with silly stars.

A good friend of mine is a Native woman, and I thought about asking her opinion, but I can't recall what her background is, exactly--as far as I can tell, moccasins originated with the Plains people, and it doesn't accomplish anything if I treat all Native people as one and the same. (I think she's Navajo.)

What's your opinion?

Dec. 29th, 2008

I has a facelift

Tres cositas

1. I put a bra in the kitchen garbage can. I hope that one of the homeless dudes who goes through our Dumpster finds it. And wears it. (P.S. Not a feminist action. More an action of the fact that its a shitty bra AND the fact that for some reason, my boobs really are larger than they were.)

2. Every day, I put two clementines in my lunch bag, and every day, I don't eat them. I am carrying around several clementines.

3. At the coffee shop this morning, the barista's friend walked in and announced to her, "He was really impressed with my resume! Too bad it was fake." I would be more bothered if it weren't a server job she was talking about, but still.

Dec. 13th, 2008

I has a facelift

Weird. In a good way.

Two separate conversations at work today:

[This one took place in Spanish]
Client: "Are you Latina?"
Me: "No."
Client: "Are you from here?"
Me: "Yup"
Client: "Oh..."
Me: "If I told you I was Latina, would you believe me?"
Client: "Yes. ...What's your name?"
Me: "Laura."
Client: "Ah, even a Latina name."

...Later on, she saw me and my manager and a nurse trying on new mesh underpants over our jeans. We didn't notice her until we were dancing. The client pretty much loved it.

[This conversation took place in Spanglish]
Client's partner: "We have questions..."
Me: "Ah, claro. Y dime, que pasa? Hay dolor?"
Client's partner: "She's uncomfortable..."
Me: "Tiene calambres?"
Client's partner: "Um...Do you speak English?"

Nov. 30th, 2008

I has a facelift

This is my week of birthday.

Just now:

Me: "Did you just kiss your phone?"
Jeffrey: "Well, this hand was doing this [typing on his laptop] and this hand was doing this [holding the iPhone by the edges], so I kissed it to open the program."
Me: "I love you."

In other news, last night I had drinks and dessert at Cafe di Sol with Ali and Aviva and then we walked a block home to their apartment, all kind of drunk. Ali stepped into a crosswalk because the law says she can do that--pedestrians have right of way in crosswalks and cars must stop for them. It doesn't really work that way very often, so I usually stay in the curb and don't provoke cars unless I'm feeling really ornery. A white Altima had to stop quickly for Ali and they had a bit of a raised-voice altercation in the light-hearted way Ali has about her. It ended with the dude driving off and yelling, "Those jeans don't make your ass look fat!" and I yelled, "Your ass looks fat, and we really don't know what he or I meant by any of that. This morning, I was looking at Craigslist Missed Connections because that's a good thing to do when it's Sunday and you're lazy. I probably haven't checked it in three months or so. But I saw this posting, titled, "Girl in crosswalk who stopped me near Buddy's--North Ave." It was posted t 10:42 p.m., right about the time Ali, Aviva and I were settling in to watch ridiculous DVDs at their place. It reads:

To the girl who stopped me and told me I needed to slow down, I want to talk about what I said to you. Seriously, I thought maybe it was a car jacking. We should probably talk it over sometime real soon. I'm not going to apologize, just clarify. That was pretty damn ballsy and I want to see what's behind that attitude.

We're not yet sure if we should do ridiculous fake replies or ignore the guy and laugh amongst ourselves.

And finally, do any of you children of the '70s or '80s remember Duso the Dolphin? (That's one horrible link, but it was actually the best description of him that I could find. And I attended public, secular schools, so Duso isn't all Xian right, or anything.) I completely forgot about him until i was wasting more time tonight and saw a blogger post about him. I think he was a first grade thing. And I loved him.

Edit: It's so weird how I was simultaneously lazy and unlazy today. I did 90 minutes of yoga and a half hour workout, and in between, I internetted and took a three hour nap.

Nov. 11th, 2008

Hot air balloon

No lo ignore

My friend had her baby October 31 and I met her last week. She's tiny and curious and amazing, and her name is Cecilia Ella. Her mom and I became good friends throughout her pregnancy, and I am completely invested in both of their lives--like, knitting socks, babysitting, call-me-when-you're-stressed type of involved. I still really don't like kids, but this one is pretty different because she's close to mine. I was in her life from the start and I couldn't believe how much I felt when I had my hand on her mom's stomach and she kicked.

Yesterday at work, I made an appointment for a 14-year-old who's having her second abortion this year. The first time it was rape, this time it was consensual, and both times, it's heartbreaking. My heart went out to her and her mom, who is completely her daughter's number one advocate and who was pouring her heart out to me because she kept it all in for so long. Every time we have a rape case in the clinic, it gets you on some level. On Friday, I was the only one in a room of six people (client, friends, employees) who kept it together, but I went home and had to sleep it off because when you sleep, you don't think. But yesterday was the first time that I had the jarring thought that I can be there for Cecilia, but I can't protect her from things like this. Someday, she is going to be 14 and she is going to be amazing, but the world will probably still be against her because she's a woman, even in 2022, because let's be real. And honestly, protecting her isn't the thing. I went home last night and read "But if I ever have a daughter, she will wander the world in a full-length parka." in this thread, and it makes me fucking angry. That is exactly what I will NOT do for Cecilia. I will talk to each and every man and boy in the world and I will tell him not to fuck with women, but I will not cocoon my girl. I don't cocoon myself. I have a right (which I don't really exercise because it's not my style) to wear a short skirt wherever and whenever I want and you CANNOT tell me to be careful because it's the men who rape and assault who need to be fucking careful. That's the only way it's going to stop.

And you know, I understand where the "be careful and take XYZ precautions" people are coming from. So I don't need to hear that, and I'm sorry if you're one of them, and that's fine if that's what you believe. But also take a minute to think about who's really to blame in any assault and go to them and stop them and make them take precautions not to rape. Have you read this?

If a woman is drunk, don't rape her. If a woman is walking alone at night, don't rape her. If a women is drugged and unconscious, don't rape her. If a woman is wearing a short skirt, don't rape her. If a woman is jogging in a park at 5AM, don't rape her. If a woman looks like your ex-girlfriend you're still hung up on, don't rape her. If a woman is asleep in her bed, don't rape her. If a woman is asleep in your bed, don't rape her. If a woman is doing her laundry, don't rape her. If a woman is in a coma, don't rape her. If a woman changes her mind in the middle of or about a particular activity, don't rape her. If a woman has repeatedly refused a certain activity, don't rape her. If a woman is not yet a woman, but a child, don't rape her. If your girlfriend or wife is not in the mood, don't rape her. If your step-daughter is watching TV, don't rape her.

If you break into a house and find a woman there, don't rape her. If your friend thinks it's okay to rape someone, tell him it's not, and that he's not your friend. If your "friend" tells you he raped someone, report him to the police. If your frat-brother or another guy at the party tells you there's an unconscious woman upstairs and it's your turn, don't rape her, call the police and report him as a rapist.

Tell your sons, god-sons, nephews, grandsons, and sons of friends that it's not okay to rape someone.

Don't just tell your women friends how to be safe and avoid rape. Don't imply that she could have avoided it if she'd only done/not done x, y, or z. Don't imply that it's in any way her fault. Don't let silence imply agreement when someone tells you he "got some" with the drunk girl. Don't perpetuate a culture that tells you that you have no control over or responsibility for your actions. You can too help yourself. Rape is not about sex, it's about control and power, and what kind of power comes from taking advantage of others? No power anyone should ever desire.

Have you read Jackson Katz?

Nov. 5th, 2008

I has a facelift



Nov. 4th, 2008



I am so nervous and hopeful.


Oct. 23rd, 2008


Attention, world

For my entire 13 years of bra-wearing, I have been an A-cup. Well, once, I was AA. But always some variation of an A. And it hasn't exactly been a full 13 years of bra wearing because most of the time, I just don't wear one. And that's why I've had this one bra for 5.5 years, and recently, it got all stretched out and then the underwire broke in half, and that's too janky, even for me. So I went to Target tonight to replace my Victoria's Secret bra (you can gauge my decline in lifestyle by where I buy my underwear in a 6 year period), and I tried on a handful of A cups, which is fine, because I've never really cared about the petiteness of my boobs. But I discovered that I am now a B cup. It really feels like much more of an accomplishment than it should be.

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